I haven’t stopped writing but I haven’t put up nearly as much Pagan/Polytheist/Devotional content as I would have liked to these last 4+ years; especially for the last 2. Things that happened to me needed time to heal, and that included my relationship with the online world, particularly with being more open about my beliefs and Practice again. Little by little, despite further health setbacks, I have felt my Devotional, Writer and Creative selves returning and reawakening.
In the last couple of weeks I’ve started writing down ideas for posts, and I’ve found brain-dumping them by theme is a big help. The last couple of years, especially, I had created so much of a mental block on sharing my words with others that I held back almost everything. But now things are shifting, and although I still have anxiety come up about writing on certain subjects I feel like I need to be ‘here’ on ETO again.
After Connecting in with Loki and Sigyn recently I got the following thought/message in my mind: “I need to find ways to start Serving my Deities and my Community again.” Writing is one of the ways I can do that. Another is through Art, and I’m slowly working on a project
or four behind the scenes.
Deities have called to my heart from a very young age, I just didn’t have the awareness of Paganism, Polytheism and the like to recognise it until I was in my adult years. After all the inner work and soul searching I’ve had to do the last 4+ years I feel like I’m finally getting to a place inside where I can begin my Work with/for Them in earnest.
I’m finally beginning to understand that it’s okay for me to be Me, and that’s what my Deities need from me… all the weird and wonderful, light and dark, deep, passionate and Mystic parts of me that drive me to Create; whether it’s through words, art, crafts, Devotion, offerings, or any number of other things. We’re not all meant to be the same, but sometimes you can find others who are similar in thought and values who help you find your own way through. That’s a big part of what I want to do here.
I forgot that you don’t have to belong to a specific tradition or belief system to find and nurture a sense of Community. I forgot that Community can be based on shared values. So I’m back writing again, and health- and concentration permitting I hope to create at least two ‘proper’ posts a month. I’m starting off small to try and avoid placing too much pressure on myself. I have lots of ideas, I just need to wade through the brainfog to get them onto paper and then the blog.
For all of you who have stuck with me the last 4+ years through blog renames and changes, all the cringey posts I put up when trauma was re-triggered (mostly deleted now!), and the periods of almost complete radio silence… thank you. Thank you for being the wonderful, amazing, supportive and Creative people you are.
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